We'll I'm still here and made it through the otherside. That was a dreadful week, I mean I know it's all ups and downs and swings and roundabouts but it's just the sharp change in direction with everything. But then again there is only so much one person can take.
Writing things down has helped, I think. It's easier to write exactly what I want to say without the fear of hurting anyones feelings. Don't know why I didn't do this sooner.
I used to writ  a diary as a teen. Was usually filled with the infatuations of Mark Wahlberg or Marky Mark who he was known as then lol, and about the grief and horrors at school. Probably moaned a little about my parents too and how strict my dad was, oh how I would have those days here again though.
I went to a clairvoyance evening last week with my best friend. It wasn't at all like you see in the films, all sitting round a table with a glass ball. I went a few months ago too and it was lovely, there was a talk about angels and positive energy so was really nice.
Now whether you believe or not believe that's fine, I don;t push my opinions on anyone, but everything she said about this man who had come through to her, was my Dad. Everything.... the details of his time in hospital when he died, what I was doing, the exams my daughter was taking at the time, the phonecalls I was making. My half brother in Australia, his breathing, the crappy doctor and that fact that I had to talk for him.... everything. I nearly lost it in there, the walls were closing in and as much as I want to know that my Dad is there in the spirit world and that he's ok, I was petrified at the same time. Other people were saying they could relate to this man etc etc, and I felt like shouting shut up he's here for me lol... but I also think that we take from it what we need. But this wasn't the case of picking bits out, this was exact. Luckily my friend was there with me otherwise I think I would have walked out and then regretted it mind you, but I have never felt anything like that before, and all the time she was talking I was freezing cold and shivering. It made me smile though, and no matter what people think I know that was my Dad telling me he's alright. x
I miss you Daddy, more than words, but we're alright aren't we? Today anyway xxxxxxxxx